okay so i've been going through the tracklist again and something is bothering me that i haven't been able to shake for weeks now and i need to write it down even if i never post this.
the first seven tracks are in english. normal titles. evocative, a little strange, but legible. then track 8 happens.
μια εγκαταλελειμμένη θεότητα. ("an abandoned deity.")
i recognized it as greek immediately. that's not what took me so long. what took me so long was that something about it felt slightly off in a way i couldn't place for weeks. i kept running it through translators and the meaning came back fine but the words themselves sat wrong somehow. like greek that developed somewhere that wasn't quite here. close enough to read. not close enough to feel right.
i don't know if that's me projecting. i genuinely don't know anymore.
why greek at all though. that's the other thing. this music has no other connection to greek language or culture that i can find. nothing in the earlier tracks, nothing in whatever scant information exists about who made this. the language doesn't appear and then suddenly at track 8 it does, fully formed, like it was always going to be there. like the first seven tracks were in the wrong language and this is the correction.
it's not decorative. or if it is it's decorative in a way that means something because it doesn't happen randomly - it happens at track 8, which is where something shifts in the music too. the texture changes. the signal gets different. i don't have the right word for different.
then track 9: the eternal jester. back in english. just sitting there between an abandoned deity and an error. i've been trying to figure out who or what the eternal jester is supposed to be for a long time and i keep arriving at the same place and i don't want to write that down yet. just thinking about my conclusion sends me to the edge of a panic attack.
track 10: _ERROR.
that's it. that's the whole title. and it comes right after the eternal jester is named which i don't think is a coincidence but i also don't know what it means.
from what i can tell track 11 and 12 are normal. or at least as normal as these damn albums go. i don't really see or hear a difference as i do with the specific tracks i'm mentioning right now, but i also feel like i am missing some part of the puzzle.
then track 13. the last one. back to greek again:
Ένα μεγάλο χάσμα ξεπεράστηκε + ο θεός τα βλέπει όλα. ("a great chasm was overcome + god sees everything.")
past tense. the chasm was overcome. not is being overcome, not will be overcome. was. it already happened. and then god sees everything, present tense, like a consequence of the chasm being crossed.
i don't know what chasm. i don't know which god. but the eternal jester is named right before the error and the error happens right before the chasm gets crossed and i have a theory about what that sequence describes that i